Ennui

There is one emotion that's alive more than any other. And that's depression. Simply because depression actively seeks and destroys every other emotion you may think about feeling, ever, in your life. Even breathing takes effort after a while.

Human interaction is A.W.F.U.L.

Hyperbole and a Half explains it perfectly. It's like you don't know if you're making the right face when you talk to people. You're not sure if you're even making the right face for the conversation you're trying to have.
It's like how when you're a kid and you think you're smiling at someone but really you're just looking at them like an evil Grudge child and suddenly you understand why your parents weren't fond of you out in public.

For example, I was babysitting for my manager at work. Before she left, she was talking to me about something and kept giving me funny looks. I wanted to be like WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME AM I NOT MAKING THE FACE?! 

It's just so hard to CARE. Driving is such an effort. "Oops that's not my lane...oops that's a tree...oops shit that was almost a car that I can't afford to pay for."  I feel like all I do is wake up, go to work, lay around all day because I don't wanna nap but then again I know I probably should, and then  I go with mom to get my sister, then come home and lay around some more reading and go to bed to do it all over again.

I mean, don't get me wrong. I'm not suicidal or anything, I just  don't even care anymore. Things that used to be so funny to me I have to force myself to laugh and smile about now. Pretty much any smile or laugh is forced. I pretty much only talk to my best friend, and that's maybe for five minutes a day.

On the plus side I've quit smoking cigarettes. Yay.