Confused

I don't understand why I care about my old friends from when I lived on my own anymore. I've tried to completely cut those people from my life, for better or for worse, because they're exactly the people I don't need to have anything to do with. But it's hard. I'm not going to lie. I had some good times with them, yes we were high, or tripping, or rolling, but sometimes we were sober. And I never doubted, until I left and looked back at least, the sincerity of their friendship. But I don't know. Maybe it was all a ruse and I'm better off. It just feels weird not to be able to call them up, or have them knock on my door and have something to do. It's never been hard for me to make friends, but since I moved back home it's like I just don't care. There are tons of people I could text or call and reconnect with but I can't bring myself to do it. I guess I'll never get it, and always just have friends from experiences I had while dating someone in the military. Which don't get me wrong, it isn't bad, but they're not here, you know? And sometimes that's a hard, helluva horse pill to swallow.