October 15th.

October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness month, and October 15th is the day to participate in it! I'm participating, for my little bean that I never got to meet.

I'm participating for all of the mothers who got to hear those heartbeats but never got to see their little faces.

I'm participating for all of the woman who went through the agony and joy and excitement of birth, only to hold their own still, silent, perfect baby.


I'm participating for all of the babies who didn't get to know the love of all of the women who couldn't wait to meet them, to hold their tiny hands, and count their little fingers and toes and stare into their babies unfocused, trusting eyes.

My heart aches for those women who got to love their babies, and name them and know their gender, only to have that little gift snatched away.

I consider myself lucky because I only knew for a short time before my baby was gone. But some women weren't so lucky. They knew for months, prepared, bought clothes and furniture, and for nothing.

Today I also give thanks, because without knowing the gift of my little one, I would not be who I am today, or where I am today. And that's a heady concept.

So, in short, light a candle for all of the mothers with empty arms, and all of the babies who didn't get to know such a love. I know I will.